On Food


Have you ever stumbled across an old recipe in a food blog, and suddenly remember that a while ago you made that dish quite often? Until new recipes came and filled your monthly rotation and your memory, and some dishes were pushed to the edge of our brain, nearly forgotten? I have.

That is why I am starting a new tag: On Food. The posts tagged under this name are records of dishes I cook and interesting recipes I find, so not all recipes are tested. I believe keeping recipes in a blog is a better alternative than bookmarking an web page, or even worse, keeping loose pages you get from your aunt or colleague.

The first post will be published later today. Have a nice sleep!


Next step


I need to move on – my work contract will be ending soon. The logic step is to ask whether they would like to give me a permanent contract, otherwise I have to contact my “real” boss – the job agency.

This is not nice. I have to ask if they want to give me a contract, while deep in my heart I don’t want to work there forever. The truth is I will leave if I managed to get a job in research. The confrontation about what should be the best option at the moment, and the realization of my own desire, weighs my heart. It feels like lying.

I need to do this within two days.

Update: The “lying” part turns out to be unnecessary. The place I am working now does not want to give me a contract, the main reason being that I am not suitable to the job I was intended to do. So now I can contact the job agency and say that, well, I would like to have a fixed contract with them. Not an ideal situation, but leaving the job agency would be less difficult as I will not see them everyday, and they are not going to invest that much on me.

On a better side, in two days I am going to have an interview, for an interesting job. I spread the prayers to the universe, and asking for them to be at my side. Which I believe they will, as the universe will give positive response to a positive request.

And my request is: Please let my career be the same as my calling. Let me have a job that will let my heart burst with passion, where every minute of hard work is not a minute of spoiling energy, but a minute closer to my goal. My goal is the creation of a better, greener, more sustainable world.

I end that with an amen.


A not so good start


I made this blog with the intention to write about more serious things and also about my projects (paintings etc), but I have been feeling down for a couple of days and cannot think about anything else.

It is about my job. For more than a year I have been working in an engineering company while finishing my PhD thesis. I don’t like the job as I am doing the same thing every project, and the nature of the job does not allow me to learn new substantial thing. I miss research and determined to find research jobs.

But economy is not doing very well at the moment, and research jobs is scarce to find. Lately, there are several positions that suit well with my background. I sent my cv to all positions, and last week I had an interview with one of those. The lucky person having the position will be leading research projects, so she/he will have people doing the experiments and analyses, and she/he will interpret the result and make reports and presentations. It sounds really good to me.

And I hear nothing after one week – I have enough experience with job-seeking that I know when the interview is going well, the company will take around 2 days to sent the feed back. So now I am 90% positive that I blew up the interview, and I cannot stop blaming my self.

When I finished doing an interview, usually I can feel if I would be accepted to the second round. With this one though, I could not – I feel some plus and minuses, but it is difficult to weigh what the final verdict will be. It was a rather tough interview as all the interviewers were experienced scientists and project managers. I am not really good in explaining what my ambition was and how I could manage conflict, partially because what I wanted is actually to be a professor and I always tried to prevent conflicts.

Everyday that I received no email, my hope was dying a bit. Now the hope is practically gone.

I am also not sure if I can still count on the other positions I applied for. These two other companies are larger companies and it could take a while before they can make any decisions.

So today I am back to zero, opening the websites for jobs, thinking about moving to another country or taking a postdoc. These two options are really not my favorite ones. I don’t like to live too far from my in-laws, as I am already very far away from my family. And postdoc fellows were not treated nicely – you have to work harder than a PhD student, earn a little bit more, but having children, when you are a woman, can cost you the position as there is nobody to cover your back when you are away.

But dragging my body to the job I don’t like is also not an option – I am really, really afraid that I will be staying here, letting my brains and research capability die as I am no longer practicing it.


I am rather desperate now, but I have to keep moving. This is not the last post with ‘job-seeking’ tag.